Thursday, May 11, 2017

The iris that bloomed 4 days ago in the backyard, so gorgeous it was almost embarrassing,
Today it started to wilt.
When night comes, does the darkness offend its vanity?
Blacking out the beauty of its short life for hours at a time?
My grandmother, that irascible giant, rushed to the hospital, weak and in pain. 
Leaving the emergency ward, she leaned against me, though not wanting to. 
I noticed today a childhood friend had varicose veins. I touched the lines on the side of my mouth. 
On the way home in the rear view mirror new strands of silver stood out against my black hair.
Another May whirls into the past.
The year pirouettes and it's October again. 
When, as I child, when my mother said that dinner would be ready in 20 minutes I would feel astonished at the idea of waiting so long.
Hungry I'd watch the seconds tick away on the kitchen clock. 
Time doesn't move the same now.
Einstein's Theory of Relativity, Rumi, Lao Tzu, Maurice Sendak--
Nothing could have prepared me for this. 

Monday, May 1, 2017


Smash your iPhone with a hammer.
Come back home to your body.
Practice looking at the objects around your house that do not glow.
Look at their lines and curves.
Tell them, "Oh you are so beautiful, I am sorry that we've been out of touch."
Sit with yourself and take a deep breath.
What is inside your brain?
Throw the pieces of your iPhone in the trash and take a deeper breath.
Blow out all the air and the pings and the pokes and the likes until your lungs are empty.
Stride outside into the sunlight, a wholly new person.
The next face you see will be the most beautiful face you have ever seen.
Real as it is, with all it's angles and ridges and flaws, right there in the actual world.
Right in front of you.

Sunday, April 30, 2017


Are you worried you'll pass out?
Then pass out.
Are you worried you'll pee your pants?
Pee your pants.
Are you worried you'll go crazy?
Go crazy.
Are you worried you'll die?
Go ahead and die.
In time the grass grows over everything.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Patriotic Affirmations

America is a free country.
Taylor Swift writes all her own songs.
SUVs are necessary.
God exists.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Job Interview

"So what's your biggest strength?"

"Oh that's easy. Sublimating my own desires in deference to the corporate monolith." 

"Your biggest weakness?"

"Having desires."

Friday, July 22, 2016

Mashup of this week's dreams:
Unable to find my license and registration as cops multiply drawing guns,
My hands on either side of an ex-boyfriend's face & a feeling of electricity shooting through my wrists up to my shoulders, 
Something about magnets,
Gleefully, effortlessly communicating with an angelic deaf child,
The distinct thought that maybe with so many idiots running their mouths all the time it wouldn't be a such terrible thing to live in silence.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

I wish there were a blood test for depression so that lazy dramatic fakers could get their comeuppance & there could be recognition & praise for people who display the preternatural strength to get out of bed in the morning & drag their bodies through the day while large parts their brains are trying to thwart them at every turn. Sheer heroism.